


Sagefire

by notthelasttime



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Character Study, M/M, One Night Stands, Porn with Feelings, fuck buddies to boyfriends.....?, something like that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-07-04
Packaged: 2018-11-03 08:30:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10963497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notthelasttime/pseuds/notthelasttime
Summary: It was supposed to just be a one night stand. Maybe elevate their relationship from acquaintances to fuck buddies if he was lucky.He wasn'tsupposedto be catching feelings. That was a surefire way to get burned.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE  
> for my anonymous friend over on tumblr.
> 
>  
> 
> this was going to be WAY shorter but it got massively out of hand and I had to split it into two chapters for my own sanity. some parts are probably better edited than others so I apologize for any inconsistencies

 

It was supposed to just be a one night stand. 

Well that wasn't entirely true. It wasn't _supposed_ to be anything.

 

The Glaives kept to themselves and most people preferred to keep it that way. It wasn't that they were adverse to commingling with those outside of their ranks, but the citizens of Insomnia had not made it easy for them. These were the people that they were protecting, fought the Empire relentlessly to keep them safe, and when they had been sent back to the city they were met with little more than disdain. Life outside the wall had brought the Glaives close enough to consider each other family, and coming back to Insomnia to face a different kind of enemy had brought them closer. They understood each other's positions in a way that no one else could. It was hard not to have a chip on your shoulder when you found out the people you'd been willing to die for held you with little regard. It made a lot of the Glaives angry, made it hard to adjust to life back in the city. And so they stuck together and did their duty and collectively closed themselves off from outsiders. Mostly it was easier that way.

Nyx Ulric had a healthy amount of both loyalty and respect for his King, nearly to a fault, and to a certain extent he felt that same respect was owed to the King's people as well, the citizens of the Crown City. It wasn't a lie when he said he would fight in as many wars as it took to keep those people safe, it wasn't some kind of act to seem tough or brave, or a way to maintain the hero moniker that had been slapped on him, no matter what some of the other Glaives may have suspected. Nyx was nothing if not earnest, and he _did_ feel he had a duty to perform, that he owed this to his King.

Still, sometimes it was best to recognize where you weren't wanted. Sometimes it was better to keep your distance. Which was exactly what he planned on doing. He kept watch at the gate, bit back his bitterness, and remained loyal to what mattered most- the King, the Glaives. As long as he didn't lose sight of that, as long as he had his family he didn't need anything else.

 

 

* * *

 

 

"What's _he_ doing here?" Tredd was looking in Drautos' direction and the two men he was standing with.  

The Glaives were in the training yard, though most of them had assembled there for entertainment rather than any actual training. The new recruits were learning to warp, always a highlight for soldiers in service. Although it seemed the trainees had attracted some additional attention as well.

To Drautos' right stood Cor Leonis, not a Glaive but well respected enough that even Tredd wouldn't risk running his mouth about him, and to his right was Ignis Scientia. The Prince's Chamberlain. 

"He's a strategist," Luche said, eyes locked on the three of them from across the yard. "We're Insomnia's pawns, what do you think he's doing? Can't call the shots if you're not familiar with all of your assets."

There was tension, even here between the Glaives and the Crownsguard, the Royalty that occupied the Citadel on a regular basis rather than as a resting point between deployment. But it wasn't just that. Most of the Glaives seemed to take it as a personal affront that they were being evaluated by a desk jockey.

Nyx kept his mouth shut. He knew Ignis, of course he did, not personally, but Scientia was an important man, one with a reputation as well. Not just a desk jockey, but one with an up jumped sense of superiority and a stick up his ass, if the rumors were believed to be true. His presence here, no matter the intention was doing him no favors with the Glaive, a prickly bunch since their reassignment. Though in Scientia's defense he didn't try to _do_ anything, and if he had anything negative to say, Nyx had never heard it. And Nyx had certainly been paying attention. 

He had to respect someone that was held in high esteem with the King, and Nyx had never put much stock in rumors anyway. They existed in different circles and Nyx wasn't stupid enough to think they'd ever do more than brush shoulders.

But that didn't mean he couldn't enjoy the view.

"Well whatever he's here doing, I suggest we all get used to it," Crowe said, her eyes never leaving the the Glaive that was currently flinging himself through the air, limbs flailing wildly after each warp. "Something tells me this isn't the last we'll see of him."

And of course, Crowe was right. 

 

 

* * *

  

 

Tredd asked Ignis to spar with them after a few weeks of nothing but _watching_ , and there was something malicious in the faces of some of the Glaives when he actually agreed.

It was the kind of tactic that had Luche's name written all over it, with so many ways to make Ignis look bad, all while on the surface seemingly nothing more than a friendly gesture.

Declining would have been a mistake. It would come off as disrespectful and rude particularly when it was common knowledge that Ignis trained with Amicitia on a regular basis ( _what, too good to train with the glaives?_ ), and even the most polite refusal could still be used against him ( _guess all that training was nothing but talk after all_ ). Acceptance would give the Glaives the opportunity to embarrass him in defeat. A defeat that Luche no doubt thought was a given.

And Ignis _did_ accept, agreeing to some sparring on the spot while the had time. He didn't even bother changing, just took off his suit jacket and stripped down to his undershirt, a dagger manifesting itself in his outstretched a hand. A dagger not unlike the one that Nyx favored himself.

It was clear that Tredd didn’t expect much from the way he held himself, the relaxed stance while he fliped his weapon in his hand, cocky smile on his face like he knew the fight was in his favor. So when Ignis came flying at him with no mercy, the fight was almost over before it had even begun. If not for a last minute warp on Tredd's part (poorly executed, sloppily landed) it would have ended there.

No one anticipated it, the Glaives no doubt thinking Ignis’s training had been more along the lines of the bare minimum of self defense so as not to upset the delicate disposition of the Princes advisor, a way to make sure he didn’t at least immediately die in case of an attack on Prince Noctis while he was around. Instead his body moved with power, quick and dangerous and giving Tredd no quarter, casually pushing him back and denying him respite from a constant barrage of attacks that were executed with all the grace of a dance. He was stronger than he looked, to pull off the kinds of gymnastic moves that he did while making it look easy, the suits he wore daily concealing the body that he had honed into a weapon. It was right around the time that Ignis started throwing daggers in the air and kicking them in Tredd's direction that Nyx knew the fight was over, and it was only a matter of time before Ignis had him pinned. 

Stunned silence followed the defeat which Ignis pointedly ignored, offering a hand up to Tredd who begrudgingly took it, if only to save face. Victory was a good look on Ignis. There was a fine sheen of sweat on him, exertion bringing color to his face making him look fresh, and while he wasn't smiling he looked pleased, an expression that was boarding on being smug as he casually spun a dagger in his hand before it disappeared in a blue haze, but all things said and done Nyx though maybe he deserved to be a little smug. It broke down the image of Mr. Scientia and in it's place was a man just like any of them; complex, with different faces to present to the world. It was easy to forget how young he was. In another life he could have been one of them, without the insane pressure of the Kingdom placed on him before he was even old enough to realize the full scope of what that meant.

Things were creeping towards awkward as the silence dragged on until Pelna stepped forward. "Mind if I have a go?" he asked, not wanting to waste the opportunity to face off against someone that could fight like _that._ Ignis did smile then, but only just, a little upward curve at the corners of his mouth and he looked more pleased at Pelna's question than he had at his win, and he nodded. The smile was gone so fast Nyx would have missed it if he hadn't had his eyes locked on Ignis the entire time.

He wasn't blind, but he wasn't stupid. And a few idle fantasies about what he might do given the chance to get Ignis alone wouldn't hurt anyone, and it wasn't like anyone had to know.

Crowe sidled up next to him, arms crossed, while Ignis sparred with Pelna. Their fight had none of the hard competitive edge from before, now that Ignis had proven himself and Pelna was there to learn instead of humiliate. Of course Ignis would have known what they were up to from the start. Luche couldn't play mind games with him and expect to win.

"Close your mouth," Crowe said, "you're drooling." 

Nyx's eyes had snapped over to her, but she was already walking away, too far for him to try and deny it without having to yell it out and call attention to himself.

He only hoped she would at least keep quiet about it.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Friday night, a local bar. The place was a bit of a shithole, to be perfectly honest, but it was close by to the Citadel and the drinks were cheap and strong. It had become a favorite of the Crownsguard and Kingsglaive alike, and really almost anyone that spent a good amount of time at the Citadel could be seen stopping by at one point or another. They'd been coming around long enough so that when somebody like Cor the Immortal or Clarus Amicitia showed up no one made it a big deal. It was nice to be afforded some small measures of normality when outside of the Citadel. 

Their group of Glaives were all there. It wasn't uncommon for them to meet up after a long day, especially now that they'd been split up on guard duty and security all around Insomnia. Nyx couldn't speak for the others, but after a day spent on the West gate he was tired and irritated and longing to be around the people that knew him best, a drink in his hand.

He ordered his beer and sat next to Libertus but this night was different. He acted unfazed and kept his head pointed forward all the while keeping tabs out of the corner of his eye. 

Ignis was there, sitting at the far end of the bar with Gladiolus, who was surely the party guilty for bringing him out that night. It was the most relaxed Nyx had ever seen him, jacket off and shirtsleeves rolled up with a half empty drink in front of him, the usual guarded look on his face gone. The kind of private thing saved only for the people that knew him best.

For the rest of the night he couldn't stop himself, watching while pretending he wasn't, noticing every twitch of movement as he drank another beer and made himself looksomewhere else, half distracted as he spoke with Libertus, then Pelna, laughing at all the appropriate times. And all the while he tried to talk himself out of doing something his mind was already made up about, as much as he may have denied it to himself. He only had to wait for his chance, and soon enough it came.

Gladio left Ignis with a parting slap on his back strong enough to make Ignis sway in his seat. He had indulged too much and was heading home, while Ignis waved him off, wanting to finish his last drink before leaving. That same little flicker of a smile was on his face while he looked at Gladio before he turned back around, serious expression in place once again as he pulled out his phone, checking emails or rearranging his schedule or _whatever_ the hell he was doing that couldn't wait until later.

It was getting late and not just Gladio had over indulged. On Nyx's end of the bar Tredd was causing a scene, alcohol turning him loud and rowdy and most of the Glaives were all too happy to be a part of his antics. Crowe had a few herself, but she was at Libertus's side, holding him steady despite the fact that he was telling her _he was fine_ , swaying on his feet all the while. They were all entertained, preoccupied. No one would notice if he just...

"You ready for another?" 

From the way his head snapped up, if Nyx didn't know any better he would say he had caught Ignis off guard, but he was learning that that was a very difficult thing to do. Ignis looked at him critically, green eyes guarded, and Nyx was already preparing to get turned away, thinking it was a stupid idea anyway, particularly after the way some of the Glaives had treated him, polite to his face, slinging insults at his back.

Instead Ignis nodded, and Nyx found himself in Gladio's vacated seat, waving the bartender over to order more drinks- beer for him, gin and tonic for Ignis. 

"Nyx Ulric," he said, holding out a hand. It was only polite, seeing as how they'd never formally met before, despite crossing paths existing in the same space. Again, Ignis looked at him with a disarming intensity, like he was trying to see through whatever Nyx was playing at, but he shook his hand nonetheless. A firm grip, long fingers. 

"Yes I know who you are," he said after releasing Nyx's hand, and then immediately tilted his head down to readjust his glasses. "Your... reputation precedes you," he said after a moment, as a way of explanation, like he hadn't realized just how rude the words would sound until they were out of his mouth.

"Same could be said about you," Nyx countered, "although I'm curious what anyone outside the Glaive would have to say about me."

"Insubordination." 

 _That_ one stung. He hadn't realized just how far word had traveled and Nyx made sure to keep his own careful mask over his emotions.

"That gonna be a problem?" he asked, any trace of flirtatiousness gone from his voice. If all he was going to get out of this was another verbal lashing, it wasn't worth it, no matter how handsome Ignis was. 

But Ignis's face was unreadable, expression neutral. "Rumor has it, it was to save another Glaive's life."

"Something like that." It wasn't just any Glaive. It was Libertus. Someone else he couldn't lose. Someone else he couldn't fail.

"Some might say that kind of circumstantial misconduct is admirable, disregarding a direct order, aware of the consequences, to do what one feels is right instead," Ignis stirred his drink but failed to mention whether or not _he_ found that kind of misconduct admirable, but Nyx figured judging by the fact that he hadn't been dismissed yet his chances weren't terrible.

They didn't say much more to each other as they nursed their drinks, and when Nyx placed a hand on the inside of Ignis's thigh and leaned in a little too close to his ear to mention that his apartment wasn't more than a few minutes walk away, Ignis stared at him wordlessly before waving over the bartender to settle his tab.

 

 

Perhaps he should have felt some embarrassment taking Ignis Scientia, of all people, back to his shitty apartment, tiny, barely furnished. There was still laundry hanging to dry on the line over his bed and the handful of books on the small shelf on the wall had fallen over again. He was a soldier and it was a soldier's apartment, hardly fit for royalty - and technically Ignis _was_ royalty.  

He didn't bother to turn on the light and as soon at the door shut he was pulling Ignis into a kiss, all the thoughts he'd been trying to ignore bubbling up to the surface. The city lights refracted through the warbled glass of the windows illuminated the room just enough to keep them being completely blind, not that it mattered because Nyx's eyes were pressed shut and he was busy thinking about how surprisingly tender Ignis was while kissing him, and the way his arms felt wrapped around his back. Ignis broke away from his mouth to leave a trail of kisses down the side of Nyx's neck, following the line tattooed there.

It wasn't long before Ignis was taking control, pushing him back until he had him pinned down on the bed and Nyx had to wonder if this was what people expected of him, what they _wanted_ from him when they made their approach, or if this was his way of subverting expectations; never giving himself over to someone else, never letting them see him vulnerable. Never giving them something to use against him, like this is the same kind of power play like the one that took place when he had sparred with Tredd. Everything in court was psychological warfare for those looking to get ahead, and Ignis had been one of the best defenders of his position. The King's favor only protected him from so much, and Ignis had not avoided scandal nor manipulation or humiliation by accident. But those were some pretty deep thoughts to be having about someone while they were trying to get your clothes off, and as soon as he had Nyx's pants down Ignis began to suck him off, effectively stopping any coherent thought.

It had been a while since Nyx had slept with anyone. That was his excuse for how _good_ it felt to have Ignis's mouth on him, swallowing him whole with a relaxed throat in a way that suggested this was not something out of the ordinary for him. It took all of Nyx's willpower not to thrust his hips up every time Ignis started to pull his mouth up the length of him, and he was doing a pisspoor job of keeping the moans from tumbling out of his mouth, knowing his neighbors could probably hear everything through the paper thin walls. He couldn't bring himself to care. His orgasm was on him embarrassingly quick, but he couldn't bring himself to care about that either, not when it was powerful enough to turn his vision white and Nyx had to grip the iron bars of his headboard to try and keep himself grounded, all the while Ignis kept sucking, easing off only when he had seen it through. 

Nyx was still breathing heavy and feeling the aftershocks when Ignis asked if he had lube and condoms, sounding about as unaffected as if he was asking about the weather. 

Ignis finally divested himself of his own clothes, glasses included, kneeling on the bed and situating himself between Nyx's thighs. He felt like he should probably return the favor, or do _something_ other than lay useless on the bed, but he was feeling blissed out and weightless, enough so that when Ignis dragged a finger down his perineum and started testing the waters to poke a finger inside of him, all Nyx could do was moan.

In his one or two (or five or ten) fantasies about fucking Ignis none of them had really included being fucked _by_ Ignis, although now that it was happening and his body was buzzing with pleasure as Ignis added another finger, Nyx was having a hard time protesting. There was a hand on his thigh, gently massaging the skin there and when Ignis leaned in to press a brief kiss to his mouth Nyx wanted to hold him there and _keep_ him there.

But he didn't and Ignis pulled away and Nyx watched in a daze as he rolled a condom on before situating himself between Nyx's legs again, grabbing onto his hips and lining himself up to sink in slowly, letting Nyx adjust. 

Nyx liked the look of him, liked the way his body didn't bulk up with muscle but his chest and abs were still well defined, liked the way his skin was nearly unmarked from scars or tattoos, unlike his own, and he liked the way he looked without his glasses, liked how his hair was a little messed up and falling over his forehead, and he liked the way Ignis looked at him with heavy lidded eyes when he began thrusting his hips at a steady pace.

When Nyx came for a second time that night, powerful enough to rival his first, making a mess of his chest and stomach he saw the little self satisfied smile on Ignis's face and that's when he knew. Ignis didn't look smug, not exactly, but there's a bit of pride there maybe, as he started thrusting faster, his own orgasm only moments away and when it hit him he was quiet about it, biting his lip, eyes closed tight and nothing but pleasure written across his face, pink with a flush that extended down his neck and to the top of his chest, that's when Nyx knew he was doomed.

The acute sense of loss he felt in the morning when he woke up to half an empty bed only solidified that fact, so he rolled over, shut his eyes and tried not to think about it, failing spectacularly. 

 

 

* * *

 

  

When he saw Ignis on the steps of the Citadel he at least had enough restraint to wait for him to finish his conversation with the man next to him, watching him walk away before Nyx took the chance to make his approach.

It was coming up on two weeks since the night they'd left the bar together. Two weeks and Nyx had hardly seen him, aside from one day when he'd shown up at the training grounds with Drautos, engrossed in conversation with the Commander and hardly approachable. 

Nyx told himself it was fine. He'd had one-night stands before, it really wasn't a big deal. Surely the two of them would run in to each other from time to time but hardly often enough to make it awkward. Before that night they hadn't even really been on speaking terms. They'd both been drinking, any uncharacteristic behavior could be blamed on that fact, and it wasn't like the night hadn't been enjoyable for either of them. It was _fine_.

Except that it wasn't fine, and Nyx had known that he wasn't fine ever since he'd woken up alone the morning after. He knew he wasn't fine every time he jerked off to the memory of Ignis fucking him, and that seemed to be an ever increasing occurrence. He knew he wasn't fine when he felt the jolt of his heart in his chest when he thought he caught a glimpse of Ignis at the Citadel, thought he heard the sound of his voice.

He was completely and thoroughly fucked, and if he hadn't known how insanely busy Ignis was all the time, his overactive mind might have even suspected that he was being avoided. But _that_ was ridiculous, even more so than whatever else he thought he might have been feeling. 

Though he still kept out of Ignis's line of sight until he was close enough that Ignis wouldn't be able to get away from him without it being obvious that he was making an effort to do so. 

"Hey," he said. Casual. Normal. Not like he felt anxious enough to jump out of his own skin. Conscious that anyone's eyes might be on them. 

"Ulric," Ignis said in a way of greeting and nodded in his direction, "did you need something?" Ignis was trying to shake him as soon as possible, that much was clear. It was too public, too forward of him to approach him here of all places, but Nyx had never been able to hold back, not when he wanted something.

"You free tonight?" he asked, careful to keep his voice low, but Ignis still pressed his lips together in a way that indicated he wasn't happy.

"Perhaps," was the only clipped response he got and then Ignis was walking away at a brisk pace, without a look back, leaving Nyx alone with nothing but vague unease about the fact that he'd gone about this all wrong. 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

It wasn't necessarily that his ego was at stake, but Nyx took pride in the fact that he was not one to be all take and no give in bed, and the night he brought Ignis home with him had  _very_   _much_  been nothing but take. As much as Ignis had seemed to enjoy it, Nyx felt there was some reciprocation due.

Perhaps that was why, when he heard the knock on his door, he was all but stumbling over himself in eagerness, always wanting to please, always looking after everyone else. He thought he'd blown it, approaching Ignis on the steps of the Ciadel, but it was too late at night to be anyone else, here to take him up on his offer, and as far as Nyx was concerned he owed him, and he didn't like to leave debts standing. 

It _was_ Ignis at the door, face unreadable as ever, but he let Nyx yank him into the apartment, let himself be pushed up against the door after it closed behind him, let Nyx press greedy kisses to his mouth as his hands were already undoing the button of his pants, and he said nothing when Nyx unzipped his fly and dropped down to his knees.

When Ignis's cock was free of his pants Nyx immediately began sucking on the swollen head of it, and when Ignis threw his head back in pleasure it hit the door with enough force to be audible. Even if Ignis insisted on biting back all of his moans, trying to be as quiet as possible through it all, he couldn't shut himself off from every display of pleasure, and Nyx took the small victory for what it was. Nyx wrapped a hand around the base of his cock, settling into a stead rhythm of sucking and bobbing his head and hand, slowly getting wet and sloppy but judging by the way Ignis had worked his hands into his hair, gripping hard, he figured he was doing something right. 

" _I'm close_ ," it was the first thing Ignis had said since walking in, his voice husky with pleasure and sure enough in a moment he was coming, and Nyx kept his pulsing cock in his mouth until he was finished.

He swallowed and stood to kiss Ignis again and it tasted like come. 

Nyx came to find that Ignis didn't seem to mind very much _how_ they fucked so long as they both got off. At least that's what it seemed like when they were both on their knees, Nyx pressing himself into Ignis from behind while Ignis kept an outstretched hand pressed to the wall in front of him to keep himself steady.

The downside in all this was that Nyx couldn't see his face, but on the other hand he had an excuse to wrap his arms tight around Ignis's waist and he could press kissed onto his shoulders, in the curve of his neck. When he told Ignis to touch himself he did, and as Nyx found himself thrusting harder and harder into him, he knew that he would keep coming back for more as long as Ignis would let him. 

 

The next morning he almost missed it, the notepad sitting on the table that he had fished out from Gods knew where.  _Ignis Scientia_  was printed across the top, followed by a number in ramrod straight handwriting. No flirty note, no  _I had fun last night_ , just the ever practical Ignis leaving a his phone number. Of course it made sense that this is the mark he would leave. Nyx thought about sending an  _I had fun last night_  text of his own until he considered that maybe this was less of an invitation to continue their relationship, and more of a pragmatic way to keep Nyx from approaching him out in public again where anyone could see them, and he had to fight to keep back the sudden uncomfortable feeling of his stomach dropping. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

It was the same nightmare, every time.

Galahd on fire, everything going to shit and he could hear people screaming, his mother, his sister - _Selena get down_ \- and then he was awake, sweating, panicking, feeling like he couldn't breathe no matter how much air he sucked in and struggling to remember where he was, where his _family_  was because they were in trouble and he had to save them. He could't watch them die _again_.

And then reality snapped back into place and he was panicking for a very different reason - Ignis. Nyx could only hope he didn't wake him up, thinking that having a conversation about the vicious memories he's dragged around with him is probably the last thing he wanted to do, but there was really no way to explain himself out of thrashing in his sleep and waking up terrified and shaking, aside from avoidance and he didn't have the energy for that, not now.

It turned out he had nothing to worry about. The bed was empty and cold, Ignis having left some time ago. Somehow that was even worse. It was still dark out.

He knew Ignis never stuck around. They'd been meeting sporadically, always initiated by Nyx who never approached him in public not after the first time, only sent a text asking if he was free. Nyx had always woken up alone, but he had thought... He had thought Ignis at least stayed until morning, then got up at some ungodly hour to make his way back to the Citadel before anyone else had woken up. But really Nyx had no idea when he actually left. He was usually quick to fall asleep in his post coital haze, he never thought to consider... 

It made him feel lonely in the most pathetic kind of way. The nightmare left him emotionally raw and he snatched back his previous thoughts on the matter. He changed his mind. He wanted Ignis there with him, if only to have a warm body next to him. Because Ignis was steady and solid where Nyx was impulsive motion and he could use a calming presence right about now, even if he didn't want to talk about it. 

But no, Ignis was long gone and there was a pain in his chest, and he laid down on his back and tried to calm down, but he didn't sleep for the rest of the night and watched the rising sun gradually lighten his apartment while the rest of Insomnia woke up. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so  
> I imagine with iggy's position there's a good chance he had an impossible time with relationships. he also strikes me as the kind of person that would be strictly business and not let people in easily (if at all), and with him being so close to the prince people would talk and rumors spread. although this is a bit of a Sad™ version of what Ignis's personal life in Insomnia could have looked like
> 
> nyx on the other hand was pretty obviously going through some shit, even if he covered it up with hero antics and bravado. after fighting against the empire, being dumped back in Insomnia probably did a number on him, especially if there hadn't been a fight to throw himself in to immediately. and I imagine nyx isn't used to getting tied down by feelings outside of those for his fellow glaives
> 
>  
> 
> feel free to come hang out on tumblr @[notthelasttime](https://notthelasttime.tumblr.com/)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (sry for the tense slip ups in ch1, been trying to edit them as i see em)  
> anyway  
> this got out of hand again but i refused to split it up, this fic turned out being double (triple?) the size i thought it would be

Gladiolus Amicitia made himself known wherever he went.

He was a big man with a loud laugh and the timbre of his voice carried. The sheer size of him made him stand out, a combination of genetics and a life spent training to become the physical manifestation of a shield. The importance of his position was sure to bring a critical eye in his direction as well, though he never seemed to carry the weight of it in his demeanor. Where he could have come off as uncouth instead he was likable, relatable. Despite the prestige of his upbringing and close proximity to the Prince he remained grounded.

And someone had the idea that he should begin training with the Glaives. 

It could have been a disaster, but it seemed that as fiercely closed off as they were, even the Glaives weren't immune to Gladio's charm. Though tolerance to him and eventual camaraderie was built with varying degrees of reluctance.

Nyx never had anything against him, found him to be considerably easier to like than most people in such high positions, but then again, living your life ready to die in service to the Crown was sure to keep anyone from getting too high and mighty. Which wasn't to say that Gladio didn't have an ego.

He stood across from Nyx in the training yard, smirking and ready for a challenge, wielding that massive sword he favored. It wasn't often that Nyx was made to feel small but even he couldn't quite match up to Gladio in terms of physicality. It was maybe a little intimidating. Gladio was someone that loved the fight, the clash of steel, nothing but your own body to prove your worth. Perhaps part of the reason Nyx had always found him so affable was the fact that they weren't so different themselves. 

Nyx sprang forward and attacked.  

Despite different fighting styles they were surprisingly well matched, and as Gladio swung his sword in a wide arc Nyx dodged back, and dove forward again. Contrary to his size, Galdio could move, but Nyx was faster and had the warp on his side. But fast didn't matter if he couldn't get a hit in.

They had an audience. The Glaives always enjoyed watching one of their own up for a fight against the Prince's Shield, hoping that one of them might finally be able to take him down, maybe knock his ego down a peg in the process. But there was another reason Nyx was particularly invested in winning this fight. 

A flash of movement out of the corner of his eye- Ignis adjusting his glasses. Glaives weren't the only ones watching. Gladio swung low and Nyx only just barely dodged, noting the smirk that elicited. Gladio almost had him. And Ignis was watching

There were rumors. Rumors Nyx had all but forgotten about until recently, rumors about Ignis and Gladio. _Together_. They were both far too important and highly regarded for idle talk to do any real damage, but that didn't stop whispered speculation. About how Ignis was ice cold. About how Gladio could have _anyone_ , he could do better. Gladio was the only one people ever saw Ignis with outside of business, saw him let his guard down around Gladio the way Nyx had seen him with his guard down when they'd been together at the bar. The ease between the two of them, the casual touch when Gladio slapped him on the back, the kind physical contact that seemed so outside of what Ignis would approve of. They were dating in secret. It was unrequited. Ignis wanted him. Rumors, rumors. 

People liked to make something out of nothing, particularly where Ignis was involved. Still, even Nyx knew they were more than just coworkers. 

The lines of Gladio's tattoos shone along his arms, muscles rippling as he swung that massive sword. He was shirtless (again). His body was something to be admired, and he knew it. 

Ignis liked tattoos. Scars too. He never said as much but Nyx could tell from the way he lavished those areas of his skin with attention, the little kisses placed on his right cheek, the space under his left eye, the side of his neck. The way his fingertips traced along the lines of his scars. He felt the hair on the back of his neck stand on end.

Gladio came at him, three swift strikes and Nyx parried them, pushed him back, saw the sweat run down the side of Gladio's face (down the scar) and saw how much he was enjoying the challenge. The temptation to use magic was strong, but he wasn't about to be called a cheat. Not with his current audience. Nyx couldn't spare a moment to catch a glance, not when they were both wearing down and showing fatigue, the chance for a slip to be exploited was too great. 

Gladio's hair had grown longer since the last time Nyx had seen him. Dark hair, shaved at the sides. Not entirely unlike his own.

Gladio blocked him, the reverberation of the blow shooting up into his shoulder.  

Did Ignis have a type?

Was that why he...

Another blow and a dodge. Libertus yelled something - he couldn't make it out. Nyx wondered if he had money on the fight. 

Was he a poor man's substitute for... for what? A broken hearted ex that never move on? Someone in love with a coworker that didn't love them back, or that they'd never make a move on given their business relationship in proximity to the prince? How close were they? They'd known each other for most of both their lives. Was there something else going on? He felt jealous. He felt used. Suspicions that weren't confirmed and some part of him wanted to go to Ignis and demand it if was true, with no proof, no reason he should have any right to know. Why should it matter to him, that would be the real question. He chanced a look in Ignis's direction. 

Gladio came from nowhere, knocked him on his ass and had him pinned; game, set match. He could practically hear the collective sigh from the Glaives watching from the sidelines, bemoaning yet another loss.

He laughed and helped Nyx up, easy and casual and friendly, loving the challenge, loving the fight, pushing himself in a way he couldn't while training the Prince. He slapped a hand on Nyx's back, that familiar friendly gesture. Nyx looked around the perimeter of the training grounds but Ignis was gone.

Before Gladio left he'd caught Nyx at the sidelines, taking a break and watching the others. They were on good terms, quickly becoming friendlier, and Gladio offered to buy him a drink some time to make up for knocking him on his ass, then laughed at his own joke. They exchanged numbers while Nyx tried to convince himself he was being ridiculous when he tried to compare himself to Gladio like they were competition.

Nyx kept training for the rest of the day, continued on as the others started trickling out of the yard, pushed too hard, went too long, until his muscles were shaking and he couldn't catch his breath, cold sweat covering his body. He forced himself to the limit again and again and again just like he always did, knowing however far he pushed it was never enough, it would never be good enough. Not when he couldn't save the people that had mattered most. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

"You can stay the night, you know," he said, "...if you want." Nyx tried to make it sound like a throwaway comment, not something he had been agonizing over for the past few weeks. 

"Oh," Ignis said, slightly surprised, looking over a naked shoulder. He'd been getting out of bed and Nyx, for once, had managed to keep himself awake to see it happen. "I... didn't think you would want me to." There's a second part to that sentence, something left unspoken, the part that said  _most people don't_ , and Nyx saw the little crease appear in Ignis's forehead. It was one of the only subtle tells he had when he was upset about something, and Nyx thought about how he'd like to know who those  _other_  people were and maybe pummel them into the ground. And not just because he was jealous thinking about the other people Ignis had slept with. Mostly.

That night Ignis had climbed on top of him and fucked himself on Nyx's cock, and all the while Nyx had strained to hear every subtle little hitch in his breath while his hand had gripped at thrusting hips to help keep him steady, holding on far too tight. He didn't know where to look; at Ignis's face, flushed, eyes unfocused with pupils wide and lips swollen, or his cock, tip shiny with precome as it bounced, slapping against his stomach every time he came down hard on Nyx's dick. 

Ignis came without either of them touching him, arching his back, covering Nyx with thick strands of come, and he'd let Nyx pull him close against his chest, kept his hips lifted so Nyx could continue to thrust up into him, his own orgasm following soon enough. They'd stayed like that while they both recovered, Nyx splaying a hand across the center of his back where he could feel Ignis's breathing even out, the knobs of his spine poking through the skin. His cock had gone completely soft by the time it slipped out of Ignis when he finally made a move to get up and clean them off and it still felt like they separated too soon.

"Well, I don't mind. If you'd rather stay." Nyx said after clearing his throat, keeping his gaze pointed down and he tried to ignore the jump of his heart when Ignis settled back beside him after shutting off the light, perched along the ledge of the bed and facing away. Nyx waited for an agonizingly long period of time, then waited some more before turning on his side and throwing an arm around the body next to him.

  

 

* * *

 

 

It was fun while it lasted. At least that's what Nyx kept telling himself.

Five weeks. It had been over five weeks since he'd last seen Ignis. 

It was hard not to feel like a petulant child about the fact that Ignis couldn't just drop everything and see him, especially when their relationship was pretty straightforward for what it was. He had been _trying_ to get a handle on things when he realized the temptation to invite Ignis over was becoming more and more frequent. Nyx had put off contacting him for as long as possible until he'd been unable to keep his head straight during training, resulting in Luche uncharacteristically kicking his ass and Nyx caving, deciding to shoot Ignis a text while pretending he had only stopped to get some water. He'd spent the rest of the night checking his phone every few minutes for a response that never came. Not that that was entirely out of the ordinary - Ignis was busier than anyone Nyx had ever known, between Royal duties, Council meetings, and taking care of the Prince it was a miracle he ever had a moment to himself. And while he usually sent back a response, whether the answer was yes or no, sometimes messages went unanswered. So Nyx brushed it off, waited a week, and texted him again, asking what he was doing that night.

Nothing.

He supposed it was probably better this way, a clean break. Getting cut off should have made things easier. He'd been far too needy lately and almost any free moment he had his mind was looping back around to Ignis; where he was, what he was doing, and (his mind's personal favorite thing to agonize over), what Ignis thought about him. Feelings he swore he didn't have, or that he could keep in check were getting out of control, and if they kept on like this, Nyx was going to be the one getting burned. 

That didn't stop him from lunging at his phone every time the screen lit up, desperate for  _ _something__. But no. There were messages from Libertus, inviting him to come out for drinks with the Glaives and texts from Crowe, one part exasperated (but fond) comments about how Libertus needed to loosen up  _ _(_ he knows I'm not a child, right? Just checking_), one part slightly nosy prodding into what was going on with him and his _personal_ life. She was smart enough to never say it outright, always keeping close lipped about what exactly she knew or suspected, but the curiosity was there and Nyx knew it was only a matter of time before he'd have to talk about it. He even got a message from Gladio asking if he was free to take him up on the offer of a drink, something that would have normally been a sufficient distraction but he found himself making excuses, apologizing, asking if another night would work.

 _Gods_ , he had it bad.

 

 

Saturday night and it was far too early to be in bed but Nyx was sprawled over his anyway. He’d managed to get out of another night out, blaming tiredness and old injuries acting up. There must have been something in his face that said something wasn’t right because no one pushed him too hard, even if Crowe gave him a long hard look before telling him to get some sleep.

His phone buzzed and he leaned over to reach it, expecting some drunken antics from his friends, photos and text to show him what he was missing.

Instead it was a text that sent his heart racing when he’d all but resigned himself to giving up hope.

_Are you available?_

He didn’t care how desperate he sounded when he typed out a reply and sent it immediately without giving himself a chance to think.

_Come over_

The knock on his door came sooner than expected and it made Nyx wonder if Ignis had already been on his way when he’d sent the text.

He looked tired, overworked. Something about the way Ignis carried himself always seemed to come off as stiff or formal but it was different tonight. He was tense. It wasn't just good posture that was set in the lines of his back and the expression on his face was tight, an expression that didn't change when Nyx opened the door and let him in.  

Nyx had a thought in the back of his mind, something he was dangerously close to saying. A suggestion, an offer to just… get takeout and eat it in bed. Watch shitty tv for the rest of the night. Nyx could even try to massage the tension out of his shoulders, if Ignis would let him. It was the kind of mundane thing Ignis probably never let himself do- never had a chance to do, more like. But to suggest it felt like he would be teetering on the edge of something, a change in their relationship and the thought of getting turned down wasn’t a risk he wanted to take, not now. Not when he was afraid Ignis was bored with him, moving on, meeting up with other people - that he might be _in love_ with someone else. To suggest something other than sex felt like it ran a chance of throwing everything off the rails, like Ignis might just turn and leave, not able to find what he'd come here looking for. Besides, the way Ignis leaned into him for a kiss, soft at first but growing insistent, the hungry way he started tugging at the front of Nyx's pants made him push those thoughts aside. Something to save for later. For now he would be content with this. If this was all Ignis wanted from him he would give it.

Nyx let himself be pushed face down on the bed, hips tilted up and without warning he felt a tongue, wet and warm, pressed flat as Ignis dipped between the cleft of his ass, pulling needy and desperate sounds from Nyx's mouth, loud enough to be embarrassing. He kept his face buried the the pillows after that, muffling the noises he couldn't stop making while Ignis spread him apart, tongue licking and darting around his hole. Ignis took his time, spent a long while eating him out before the first finger made it's way inside to start stretching him open. 

Ignis kept his chest pressed tight to Nyx's back when he started fucking him, so that he felt every hot breath on his neck, felt the way Ignis became damp with sweat as he kept up the pace of his rough and rapid thrusting, hard enough to make the bed frame shake and bump against the wall. Hands gripped his arms, his hips, his shoulders, and it felt hard enough to bruise, and somewhere in the back of Nyx's mind he hoped his skin would keep the marks. The room was filled with the slap of skin on skin, the wet noise of Ignis's cock moving in and out of him.

Nyx felt his tempo falter, felt the open mouth on his shoulder where Ignis bit down _hard_ when he came, then he snaked an arm around to reach Nyx's swollen neglected cock to jerk him off, fast tugs with a firm grip, almost bordering on painful with the intensity of it. He was soon coming in Ignis's hand, voice going high pitched in pleasure, fists gripping tight into the blanket. 

Ignis murmured an apology as he kissed the bite mark on Nyx's shoulder. Personally Nyx didn't mind if he was tied up, fucked hard, and bitten and marked all over, but perhaps that was a conversation for another day. Ignis was gentle when he slid himself out, and Nyx was quick to sit up and pull him into a kiss, and then another. Ignis still looked far too tired but the tense edge from earlier was gone and that was something at least. Nyx pulled him all the way back down on the bed and kissed him again.

 

Afterwards they sat next to each other, propped up on pillows, existing together in silence. Nyx had an arm stretched out back along the top of the metal headboard in a way that was suspiciously close to having an arm around Ignis's shoulders, but not quite. Still he wanted to, he wanted to pull Ignis closer the same way he wanted Ignis to lean up against him, rest his head on Nyx's shoulder, change their companionable silence into something  _ _more__. He felt restless, had to occupy his hands before they did something stupid on their own. 

He leaned over to fish into his pants pocket from where they were lying on the floor, invading Ignis's personal space in the process, pressing too close to him until he had what the wanted- a half empty pack of cigarettes.

Nyx cracked the window beside the bed and lit a cigarette with a flame manifested in his hand and took a long drag.

"I didn't know you were a smoker."

"I'm not," he said. "Not usually."

A bad habit from Galahad. He had quit when he joined the Kingsglaive, but recently it seemed to be harder kick than he had thought, cravings coming back to him in a way they hadn't when he was outside the wall. Insomnia had made him restless, cagey. Sometimes a cigarette helped take the edge off. Sometimes. 

Nyx offered it to Ignis, who, to his surprise, accepted, taking a long drag of his own. He stifled a cough and Nyx laughed before he could stop himself. He bit his tongue and looked to Ignis, afraid that he would think Nyx was mocking him, but from what he saw, Ignis seemed amused as well.

"It has been some time," he said, and Nyx stared.

"I didn't know  _you_  smoke."

"I did," Ignis said, taking one more drag before passing it back, and Nyx found himself intentionally brushing their fingers together, thrilling in every single stolen touch he could coerce out of their time together. All the different ways they'd had each other and casual contact still felt taboo.

"Everyone has their vices. Though smoking was becoming less of an indulgence and more of a crutch. And if Noctis had found out I would've never heard the end of it." It was odd to hear the Prince spoken of in such a casual manor and Nyx was reminded once again of just who Ignis was, the kind of responsibilities he held. The kinds of responsibilities that brought staggering amounts of pressure, the pressure to always be perfect, constantly subjected to criticism in every aspect of life. "Besides," Ignis continued, "I've found other ways to relieve stress."

 _Like fucking Glaives?_ Nyx thought, and then immediately felt guilty. He couldn't try and pin this on Ignis, not when he was the one that initiated this whole thing, set the rules, kept coming back for more. It was unfair and unkind to try and blame Ignis for something that's entirely Nyx's fault, undisclosed feelings, rampant jealousy that he had no right to feel. Whatever flame of petty anger had sparked in him died out just as quickly, and the lingering feelings left nothing but sour regret and that constant dull throb of affection that was ever present in his chest. His own stupid thoughts had ruined their shared moment. He couldn't apologize for something he had never said, but he could make up for his remorse. Cigarette smoldering at his finger tips, he leaned towards Ignis and pressed a languid open mouthed kiss at the junction of his jaw and neck. He wouldn't say it but he could think it - _I'm sorry_.

"Ready for more?" Ignis asked, voice oddly quiet.

 _More_. Such an ambiguous word. Nyx was ready for  _more,_ for more of something Ignis couldn't give him, more than whatever stilted relationship they'd fallen in to. But it was hardly the time to get bogged down in feelings again and Nyx pressed a kiss to Ignis's mouth instead, unable to correct him, unable to say no.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Gladio took Nyx out to a bar further away from the citadel, a tiny nothing of a place tucked into an alley way, the kind of thing you’d never find if you didn’t already know where it was. It was quieter than their usual haunt, homier, but it held the same kind of close lipped policy that kept their presence there a secret, and here there was less of a chance to run into anyone else from the Citadel. Less of a chance they’d be spotted by someone insisting they turn a laid back night into a party of 10. Nyx had to appreciate it, and while he knew Gladio held no hard feelings for anyone they might run into, sometimes even the closest friends needed a break.

The first time they’d met up had been a few weeks back, a casual night that had been more small talk and general getting to know you questioning that solidified what they’d both already expected. That they spoke the same language, that they would get along well outside of a sparring ring.

They were similar in that they knew their physicality was their advantage. They were strong in their sense of honor and perhaps ego was somewhat prominent though neither took themselves too seriously. They were a good match. Perhaps Nyx could be mouthier and Gladio more introspective, Nyx was more bravado whereas Gladio could be the strong and silent type. But they got along well and had spent the night laughing in each others company, and it was clear they could see each other as friends beyond what was required in their duty to the Crown. 

Gladio knew how to drink.

The sheer size of him meant he was already at an advantage, and for some reason Nyx had been determined to keep pace. Which meant that when Gladio had too much, Nyx was already beyond gone.

Not that he would admit as much.

“The thing about Glaives is that they talk to much.”  
  
Nyx laughed. He had the good luck to be a happy drunk, at the very least. Happy and affectionate.

“And no one in the Crownsguard knows how to have fun.”

It was Gladio's turn to laugh, “You try having fun with Cor the Immortal watching for a fuck up. Tends to make people get serious.”

They sat in silence for a moment, both smiling, enjoying the banter, the relaxed atmosphere between them and the comfortable glow of getting to know a person and realizing how much you have in common. And Nyx of course just had to open his fucking mouth.

“What about Ignis?”

“What about him?” And just like that the moment changed. Gladio's guard was up, not entirely but there was a sudden sharp look in his eyes that was far too sober for how much he’d had to drink, and there was something about that defensive protectiveness as soon as he said Ignis’s name, that for Nyx felt like it all but confirmed all of his suspicions and he felt cold. He wanted another drink.

Gladio thought he was fishing- which he was, just not for what he assumed. He wasn’t here to try and get dirt on Ignis by cozying up to Gladio, he wasn't trying to get closer to the Prince through the Shield and Chamberlain. There wasn’t anything malicious behind it which would of course be the first thing Gladio would suspect - he was trained to do so, no matter how friendly he may have been with someone. If he had tried getting to Ignis (whether to undermine or seemingly befriend only to betray) by going through Gladio (making friends, getting him drunk to loosening his lips), he certainly wouldn't have been the first one.

Spend your whole life learning to protect someone and there was a good chance you’d start trying to protect everyone and Nyx was trying, _trying_ not to think too hard about why he’d be so protective of Ignis.

“I didn’t mean… I just…” he was at a loss for how to show that this wasn’t some shady move, a strategic attempt to manipulate. “I just never see him with anybody. At least... nobody but you."

Something in his face must have given him away because Gladio's expression softened, if only marginally, and a thing like understanding passed through his eyes, though Gladio was quick to covered it. 

He shrugged, took a sip of his drink, "Known each other for a while, that's all."

"Uh-huh."

"Look..." Gladio looked like he was debating with himself, trying to decide if it was worth talking about. "There aren't many people Iggy thinks he can trust," he said after a moment, choosing the words deliberately. "And it's not just about him, with being so close to Noct. He's gotta be careful. We both do."

"Right," Nyx said, "yeah," wondering why his own voice sounded so upset. Gladio hadn't told him anything he didn't already know. Just that...

If there was anyone Ignis didn't have to worry about taking advantage of him, it was Gladio.  

"Hey Ulric," Gladio cut through his thoughts, "you try anything underhanded you're gonna fuckin regret it," he said, and then he gave a feral grin and laughed as he finished the last of his drink. 

 

 

It was a testament to just how drunk Gladio was that he didn't laugh Nyx off when he said he'd see him home after all he'd had to drink, as if Nyx himself wasn't struggling to just stand up straight. 

Even with their hiccup in conversation revolving around Ignis, Gladio still seemed to think he was alright, slung a massive arm around Nyx's shoulders as they both stumbled along, talking in their too-loud drunk voices complaining about the universal Citadel bullshit they'd both had to deal with over the years. 

"C'mon, down here," Gladio said as he brought Nyx around into an alley, "back door's easier, don't have to deal with anyone out front." 

The door was indented into the building, back by the dumpsters, and when Nyx took a look at the sturdy door, set with a keypad lock, he let out a low whistle. Gladio just grinned.

"Probably the best security in Insomnia outside the Citadel. Iggy recommended the place when he knew I was looking, I figured if he lived here then the place had to be solid." Gladio seemed to be having trouble concentrating on both unlocking the door and speaking at the same time.

The cogs were turning in Nyx's brain.

"I thought Ignis lived at the Citadel."

Gladio snored, "Yeah, you and everybody else. I think he likes it better that way." The door beeped as the lock popped open and they stumbled inside; clean, minimal interior that was obviously well kept, and judging by the lack of wear and tear on the place it was either recently built or renovated. Rent had to be astronomical. 

Gladio jabbed the call button on the elevator, "You coming up?" Nyx shook his head, made some awful joke about Gladio being able to find his apartment without getting lost.

No, Nyx was about to do something very stupid instead. 

 

He wondered if he was breaking trust, if Gladio would be angry with him if he found out after they had seemed to come to an understanding. 

Nyx walked to the small room by the elevators after the doors had shut on Gladio, looked at the mailboxes lined up in rows, scanned the correlating names and found what he was looking for: 

**_I. Scientia - 837_ **

 

 

 

He knocked a rhythm on the door, loud but not _too_ loud, so he wouldn't wake Ignis if he was sleeping or disturb any nosy neighbors down the hall. It was late. He wasn't sure if he really expected Ignis to answer. Probably not. It was a hopeful drunken wish more than anything, so that when the door did open and Ignis stood there, first looking curious, confused, then raising his eyebrows as high as they could go, Nyx's heart nearly stopped beating.

It was a version Ignis he hadn't seen before, a secret version, and Nyx suddenly felt like just looking at him was an intense invasion of privacy. Ignis was wearing sweat pants, a dark t-shirt that had gone soft with over washing, and his glasses were off, making his face look bare with eyes that seemed wider than normal, not the hazy half lidded eyes in darkened rooms he was used to seeing. His hair was still slightly damp from a shower, not styled but pushed back carelessly from his face, skin still scrubbed bright from the hot water.

For once he looked his age. He looked _young_. Ignis was all hard edges and sharp lines, a calculated appearance to give a certain impression, every piece of him put together like a uniform, the structured image of a man that Ignis was careful to maintain. Without it, without the perfectly tailored suits and styled hair and and expensive polished shoes what was left was something soft. 

"Hey," Nyx said and leaned against the doorframe, needing something to stabilize himself. He could feel the stupid grin on his face, couldn't stop it from appearing there as he took Ignis in, and he only he hoped he looked more drunk than hopelessly lovesick. Though given his current blood alcohol levels that probably wasn't difficult. 

"You smell like you've crawled out of a bottle of whiskey," there was the Ignis he knew, and Nyx only felt his smile grow wider as he bit his bottom lip to try and stop it. 

"You're cute like that," he said, maybe a little too loud, and then laughed, and Ignis was pulling him into the apartment, sparing a glance down each end of the hallway to see if anyone was there to witness it and Nyx pretended he hadn't caught it. The door clicked shut. 

Nyx leaned his back agains the wall, unable to stand up on his own as he started undoing the laces on his boots. Ignis hadn't exactly invited him in, but he wasn't about to get kicked out right away.

Right?

"How do you know where I _live_?" 

Ignis didn't sound too upset, at least, and when he finally turned around from facing the door, he didn't really look too upset either, though definitely a little concerned, probably wondering how Nyx had found out, if it had become common knowledge. Well, he didn't have anything to worry about, Nyx would assure him of that.

He tripped over his own shoes closing the space between them, but it was alright because he had grabbed on to Ignis's shoulders, felt hands latch on to his waist, and he pulled himself close and pressed his mouth to Ignis's ear. 

"It's a secret," he said, and started laughing again, almost missing the frustrated sigh that earned him. 

"Come on," Ignis said, "you need to be drinking water," and he led Nyx into the kitchen.

Ignis's apartment was modern, full of dark mahogany floors and stainless steel appliances, all meticulously organized and kept spotless. A row of frying pans was hung up above the backsplash, and an impressive spice rack lined one of the counters. No dishes in the sink, no fingerprints on the metal doors of the fridge.

Gods knew what Ignis thought of his apartment.

Ignis shoved a glass of water into his hands then leaned back against the countertop, arms crossed low over his stomach. The clock on the microwave said it was almost 2am. Ignis yawned. 

Nyx gulped down half the glass in one go, before setting it down and going to Ignis, wrapping his arms around his neck, lazy movements that Nyx probably thought were less clumsy than they really were. Ignis still smelled like soap, something fresh like the way the air smelled before it rained, and when Nyx leaned in for a kiss he smiled into it; Ignis tasted like spearmint. 

Still, he was being so restrained. He wasn't pulling away, parted his lips when Nyx coaxed them open, but he wasn't responsive either, keeping his arms crossed and not quite kissing back with the kind of enthusiasm he normally did.

Nyx was being humored, that was all. 

He broke the kiss but didn't back away, kept himself close enough that their noses were almost brushing.

"I'm not going to sleep with you like this, if that's what you're here for," it was said quietly, with a trace of humor like it was supposed to be a joke, but they both knew Ignis was telling the truth.

"You think sex is all I'm good for?" Nyx asked, then took one look at Ignis's blank face and added, "nevermind, don't answer that."

"Nyx-"

"I wanted to see you." Alcohol had loosened his lips and Ignis was giving him a look of exasperation but there was something else underneath the surface. Like maybe he wanted to believe it was true. So Nyx kissed him again. "I wanted to see you, that's it."

Ignis stared at him for a very long time before he blinked and said, "Drink your water. You can sleep here for tonight."

"Lettin me stay?"

"I hardly trust you to get home with the state you're in, and it's not worth me getting dressed and going out again." His words were cold but there was something about them that Nyx couldn't help but feel was all an act. He was pretending to be more annoyed than he was, playing up what an inconvenience Nyx was being. He almost called Ignis out on it before biting back the words, like acknowledging the fact would ruin it and the walls would go back up, Ignis would work twice as hard to keep his true feelings from coming through. It was all part of the image he was still maintaining, even around Nyx.

Although for a single second he thought Ignis was honestly going to make him sleep on the couch - then Ignis led him by the hand into the bedroom, simply furnished, the bed itself taking up most of the space. 

A bed big enough to share with others. Excessive for just one person, really. 

Ignis began to offer him something to change into then cut himself short, Nyx already stripped down to boxer briefs and crawling into bed. The mattress was softer than he expected - he'd pegged Ignis for an uncomfotably firm mattress kind of guy. 

The light flicked off and he felt the bed sag under the weight next to him. Ignis seemed determined to keep space between their bodies and his back was facing Nyx. Minutes passed and the quiet of the room became uncomfortably loud. He couldn't even hear Ignis breathing, just the muffled sound of the central air unit that seemed to press into his ears. He was lying on his side, eyes sliding shut until the bed felt like it was rolling in waves underneath him.

Nyx turned onto his back and opened his eyes. Let the room settle back into place before he closed them again, only to feel like he was spinning in half circles, faster and faster until he had to open his eyes and repeat the process, getting his bearings, staring at the ceiling until it stayed in one place, but the world kept swimming as soon as he his eyes closed once more. His stomach lurched and without meaning to Nyx let out a groan, deafening in the quiet room.

"Are you going to be sick?" Ignis's voice from next to him, only slightly slurred. He must have been dozing off. 

"I... no. Maybe. The room won't stop spinning."

" _Nyx Ulric do not vomit in my bed_."

That was enough to get him up. Nyx _did not_ want to believe he had gotten sloppy drunk so far past his limits that he was going to heave it all back up but there was no denying the acidic boiling of his stomach and the sour taste in the back of his mouth. In the dark he lurched his way into the adjoining bathroom, flipped the light on and hung his head next to the toilet bowl.

This was _not_ how he imagined things going.  

He heard a shuffle behind him and a grunt as Ignis sat down on the bathroom floor with him, back resting against the wall. He was rubbing at his eyes that had already adjusted to the dark of the bedroom. 

"Iggy you don't have to sit here with me, I've been drunk before."

There was a very long pause before he replied. "Have you been spending time with Gladiolus?"

"Got a problem with that?"

"You are free to spend your time with whomever you wish."

They fell into silence. With his eyes open and the light on it felt less like he was on a tilt-a-whirl, but that didn't stop his stomach from acting like he was floating in the open ocean. It came in waves; one minute fine, the next his head was in the toilet, ready to just puke and be done with it, yet somehow the nausea started to subside. Ignis left once to bring him more water which he was grateful for, and eventually Nyx found himself streached out on the floor of the tiny bathroom, not yet trusting his body enough to head back into the bed. 

"You and Gladio ever date?"

"What? No." The question caught Ignis off guard and he seemed almost distracted in his answer, swatting it away, not taking it as something serious.

"You fuck then?"

" _No_ ," he said in a tone of voice that was boarding on true anger, enough to sober Nyx up enough to know he better not push it. But he wanted to. He wanted to know everything. Was he tired of assuming that people thought they were fucking? Angry because he couldn't have what he wanted? Or trying to cover up the fact by adamantly denying it. 

Dampened by Ignis's mood he went silent, but drunk and quiet could only coexist together for so long.

"You ever fuck anybody on the bathroom floor?" He heard Ignis give an audible sigh. "What? It's a serious question. I bet it'd be fun."

"I _have_ , as a matter of fact, and I found the experience to be awkward and uncomfortable and I had the bruised knees to show for it." Nyx laughed at that, all the while wondering just who it was Ignis fucked in a bathroom. "Besides, in your current state I doubt you'd manage to get hard enough to try."

"Oh? You don't think I can?"

" _Do not_ take that as a challenge."

Nyx sat up, dumb drunk smile back on his face, "I don't need to get hard to suck you off."

"You had your head hanging in a toilet not fifteen minutes ago, your mouth isn't coming anywhere near my cock." Nyx laughed again, sitting up, scooting himself closer to Ignis. He couldn't help himself, couldn't hold himself back, and as much as Ignis had spent the night acting irritated and exasperated he was still there, with _him_ , not in bed like he could have been, getting the sleep he desperately needed. It had to mean something, didn't it?

"Come on Iggy," he said, voice going low as he leaned in closer so that they were shoulder to shoulder, and Nyx brought his mouth right up to his ear. "You act all cold and unaffected but I know how much you like what I do to you." He pressed a kiss right in front of Ignis's ear, then to his jaw, and the corner of his mouth. Slow, deliberate kisses. "I _know_ you like it," he said, whispering now, "but you're always so quiet when you come. I wanna hear you." Another kiss, and arm with a mind of it's own wrapping around his waist, pulling them closer together so Nyx could kiss and nuzzle at his neck, inhaling that clean smell of his soap again. It was a smell he could get used to, fall into bed next to it at night and wake up to it in the morning. "I like it when you spend the night. And I think you do too." Ignis kept his head locked in profile, and Nyx saw the way he kept his eyes down, the way he'd gone silent. He had such long eyelashes. "You wouldn't keep seeing me if it wasn't true," he said, hating the pleading tone to his voice, willing Ignis to agree with him and make it real.

"Nyx..."

 _Say it_.

"I...."

_Say you feel something too._

"It's late," Ignis cleared his throat, pulled away, stood up. "I need to be up early."

Slowly Nyx rose after him and when he walked back into the bedroom Ignis was already tucked back in, eyes shut. Refusing to keep that awkward space between them like before Nyx closed in on him, wrapped his arms around him until Ignis's back was pressed tight to his chest. Ignis groaned something, muffled by his pillow, but he didn't push Nyx away, so Nyx just closed his eyes and held him tighter, like he was afraid he might just slip free.  

 

In the morning sunshine filled the room, bright enough to make Nyx's head pound. His mouth tasted disgusting. He needed a shower. 

Ignis was gone.

He'd slept late, but unfortunately not late enough to miss his hangover. 

There was nothing from Ignis, no note, no text, and Nyx worried that he was upset that he'd come and ruined his night, probably kept him from getting more than 3 hours of sleep, if that. But there was another glass of water on the bedside table next to a bottle of ibuprofen, and while it didn't exactly mean anything, Nyx kind of felt like maybe it proved that Ignis wasn't mad. He was still looking out for him, after all, trying to take care of Nyx even in his absence.

Just to be on the safe side Nyx still sent him a text, a single word that never got a response.

 _Sorry_.  

 

 

* * *

 

 

  

Nyx woke to pale morning light, hazy and blue, and Ignis, head tucked under Nyx’s chin, long fingers tracing over the starburst web of scars on his chest. It was nice, domestic. The kind of thing he wanted to wake up to every morning but that was getting in to dangerous territory, the thoughts he crept around and pretended didn’t exist.

He brought a hand up to cover the one on his chest, stilling the motions.

"You were... groaning. In your sleep." The hesitation in the sentence made Nyx suspicious of what Ignis was going to say before he thought better of it, and Nyx figured that perhaps _whimpering_ would have been the more appropriate word. Or _crying_. Tact was something Nyx could appreciate. 

But if Ignis was expecting an explanation he wasn't going to get one. He wasn't about to ruin a perfectly good morning.

“Go back to sleep Ignis,” he murmured against the top of his head, and he if he closed his eyes he could just barely smell that soap again, that fresh rain smell.

"I'll be leaving soon," was his muffled response and Nyx just couldn't help but pick at it.

"Sneaking back home before you give the neighbors something to talk about?"

"Naturally." It was supposed to be a funny quip back but all Nyx could hear was the truth in it, the fact that Ignis went to great lengths to keep his personal life private, painstakingly so. 

What would Ignis do if Nyx found him in the middle of the Citadel, surrounded by other Royals, the  _ _important__  people he dealt with on a daily basis, and walked up to him and pulled him into a kiss? 

Murder him, probably. Hack him to pieces with surgical precision with a pair of daggers. Still it was a nice thought. A secret scenario for the back of his mind.

"I'll make coffee before you go."

 

They watched the sun rise through the tiny window in Nyx's cramp kitchen, drinking coffee out of mismatched mugs (he'd given Ignis the one without the chip in the rim). 

Silence between them was always comfortable. More and more Nyx was finding ways to extend their time together beyond just fucking, and he was constantly surprised by how enjoyable Ignis was to just be around. Ignis had a wicked sense of deadpan humor that Nyx had come to love, and Ignis seemed to think Nyx's bravado was charming (or so he suspected, from the tiny curl of his mouth and softened eyes that spoke of endearment when Nyx was playing up the hero act, even though everyone knew at his core it wasn't all just a farce). They'd had a growing handful of interesting conversations, laying side to side in Nyx's bed, both naked and half dozing off, only partially covered by blankets. But Nyx liked the silence best. Liked it because Ignis could relax for just a moment, beyond the prying eyes of the City, ever critical of his every move, and Nyx liked the peace it brought him as well. People always seemed to be looking at him for answers, like he knew somehow what they had to do. 

He watched Ignis pick his clothes up off of the floor, watched him get dressed. 

He wanted every morning to be like this, with the exception that he would watch Ignis go knowing he'd be back again at night, every night, and every morning. 

It was suspiciously close to the behavior of a couple, but Nyx walked Ignis to the door and wouldn't let him leave without a kiss goodbye. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

"I'm in love with you."

He blurted it out before he even said hello and Ignis just stared back at him from behind his desk, cup of coffee hovering in the air from where he'd been about to take a sip, and a stupid look of surprise on his face, mouth hanging slightly open. It was an expression Nyx had never seen on him before.  _ _No one__  caught Ignis off guard, not ever.

It had been a bad idea, to come rushing up here and lay himself bare, crashing through the door of Ignis's office without even knocking. He realized that now, of course, now that it was too late. He'd heard rumors that Glaives were being deployed again and had gotten himself all worked up, wondering if it was going to be him. There was no reason it  _ _shouldn't__  be him. And something about the thought of leaving Insomnia again, the very real chance that he might die at the hands of the Empire set him off, a downward spiral of thoughts of all the things he'd left unsaid, and suddenly all he could think about was going to see Ignis. Nyx knew what it felt like to lose someone with things left unsaid. He wasn't about to let that happen again.

He hadn't been a complete idiot, he _had_ tried calling first. And Ignis's phone had rang and rang and he hung up without leaving a message. When he tried calling a second time the phone rang once before being sent to voicemail. That should have told him what he needed to know, but Nyx didn't exactly do things by halves. He couldn't blame Ignis for blocking blocking calls from his booty call while he was still at work.

Nyx had never called him for anything else.

He couldn't waste a day waiting to get ahold of Ignis and he couldn't just sit still. He knew where his office was. He would just go see him, that was it. They could talk. Maybe Ignis knew more about their deployment given his position, could put Nyx's mind at ease. Though he hadn't exactly planned for  _ _this__. For his mouth having a mind of its own. 

Even if he knew what he said was true he had never exactly matched the feeling to the words before, even in his own mind, preferring to keep his emotions as an undefined mass, like if he didn't think about it, didn't label it for what it was, it would be easier to ignore. He thought he had been doing a good job of keeping this suppressed, but apparently it had only been under the surface building pressure, ready to burst.

Maybe all of 6 seconds of silence passed between them but it was enough time for Nyx to think about how he pretty much had to fake his own death and flee the city after this. Libertus would probably help, but if that was the case he'd have to explain  _ _why__  he needed to disappear forever from the face of Eos, and admitting to bumbling into Ignis's office and confessing his undying love unprompted was probably more embarrassment than he could handle. Nyx, the  _ _hero__ , falling over himself for a pencil pusher, of all people, Nyx, the  _ _hero__ , being anything but suave and self assured? He would never hear the end of it. 

Ignis put his coffee down, breaking the stillness, but when he opened his mouth to speak, he closed it again almost immediately. He was calculating, Nyx could see it - it was what he did best, what he'd been  _ _trained__  to do for probably his entire life, and he was probably thinking about the best strategic way to let Nyx down easy without causing a scene. He had never felt so stupid in his entire fucking life. Ignis stayed silent and folded his hands, that little crease appearing in his forehead.

Nyx Ulric didn't run from fights. He took everything head on, whether he was outmatched or not. He was not a  _ _coward__.

He looked at Ignis and bolted out the door. He headed straight for the stairs, wanting to keep moving, not wanting to get stuck in a hallway waiting on an elevator, looking out of place, like a sitting duck for Ignis to come after him and remind him how much of a mess he'd made of things. He didn't want to hear it. It was a conversation he didn't want to have, damn the consequences. 

He thought he heard someone yell his name behind him when he reached the stairwell, and he just kept running.

 

 

* * *

 

 

It didn't take long to start raining, a slow drizzle soon turning into thick sheets soaking everything on the way down. 

It was fitting for Nyx's mood at least, but it also meant that he was drenched in no time, nowhere to take cover. He'd fled out into the city, unable to stop moving after he escaped the stairwell and his legs just kept walking, taking him anywhere but _there_. He was filled with the kind of pent up and uncomfortable energy that usually took him to the training rooms but he refused. Not there, not anywhere Ignis could find him and corner him. With any luck Nyx could avoid him for long enough that he'd give up and they could move on, ignoring whatever had happened in the office. 

But the Astrals did not take pity on him, and the rain was cold and unrelenting, and soon Nyx was shivering and miserable, even more so than he'd been after running out of the office. There were only so many places to loiter without looking out of place, and while his apartment was the last place he wanted to be, caged in with nothing but regret for company, he was quickly running out of options, and if he didn't dry off soon he was going to get sick.

He wasn't prepared for the sight at his door, and he had half a mind to just turn around and walk back out into the rain before he was seen.

Ignis was there waiting, looking distressed, or at least as distressed as he'd let himself look. One hand was left resting flat on the door, like he might be able to push it in, force it to open up, and the other was holding his phone, which he was peering down at, flicking something around with his thumb.

Nyx's phone started ringing in his pocket. The sound of it filled the hallway and Ignis's eyes snaped up to see him and he knew he was caught. The air was thick with the awkwardness between them and his ringtone just kept repeating while they stared at each other. 

"Aren't you going to answer that?"

Despite everything he laughed. 

Of course Ignis couldn’t just let it lie, couldn’t leave it alone and let Nyx retreat to lick his wounds in peace. And of course he wouldn’t leave him a message - say his peace over the phone or (gods forbid) send it in a text. Of course he would need to do it in person, a proper gentleman to the very end.

Against his better judgement, Nyx walked up to the door and unlocked it to let Ignis in.

"I didn't think you would be out. I... I thought you were just ignoring me." Nyx hadn't heard his phone ringing in his pocket over the rain. He had 12 missed calls. 

"Why are you  _ _here__ , Ignis," it came out a little harsher than intended but it had been a fucking rough day and as far as Nyx was concerned the sooner this was over with the better.

"Right," he said, "of course," and looked down, adjusting his glasses, shifting the weight of his feet, uncomfortable with what was coming and whatever hope Nyx might have felt at seeing him waiting at his door was destroyed.

"I owe you an apology," Ignis said and already Nyx knew this was something he couldn't sit through. Some well meaning apology about how Ignis couldn't return his feelings, wanting to make things crystal clear. Well Nyx didn't need that. What he need was time alone to come to terms with a shattered heart, he didn't need Ignis here spelling it out for him, making things worse. He was probably the only man in Insomnia that would make a house call just to turn someone down, and Nyx had to wonder once again why, out of everyone in all of Eos he had to catch feelings for Ignis Scientia. 

"Look, Ignis," he said, holding up a hand to stop him, "you really don't have to-"

"I  _ _do__ ," Ignis cut him off with a surprising edge to his voice that commanded respect. The kind of voice he probably used at council meetings when he was trying to prove a point, forcing people to take him seriously despite his age. But there was an earnestness on his face that caught Nyx off guard just enough to shut him up, and Ignis took his moment of surprise to step closer between and clutch Nyx's outstretched hand in both of his own. 

"I'm sorry," he said and it felt raw and vulnerable in a way that made Nyx uncomfortable, mostly because he was fighting off the stupid urge to lean in and kiss the man that's about to mangle his heart. "I've never been particularly talented when it comes to articulating my feelings. It leads to misunderstandings."

"I'm  _ _sorry,__ " he said yet again and Nyx thought he was about ready to punch him if he apologized again, but he looked so disarming Nyx didn't have the heart to cut him off. "You must think me to be incredibly cold and unfeeling. I've tried to distance myself from you, pushed you away at every chance. I tried to stop seeing you, I- I was trying to protect myself. I never suspected..." He trailed off, eyes looking far off until he clamped down on Nyx's hand, eyes serious and determined.

"I never thought you would feel the same."

Nyx said nothing. He couldn't, not when his heart was pounding so fast all he could hear was the rush of blood and he was positive Ignis hadn't just said what he thought he said. But as Ignis looked at him, his blank face, no response from the shock of it, his own expression fell, that fucking crease back in his forehead and he looked embarrassed, uncertain. 

"Unless I-I misunderstood. I must have..."

Only Ignis. Only Ignis, for all of his advanced schooling and multiple degrees, skipping grades, tutoring the Prince, maintaining such a prestigious position at such a young age and still he could be so stupid when it came to emotions. Relationships. Feelings. Only Ignis could listen to someone blurt out a confession of love and think that he had misunderstood. 

Still stammering apologies Nyx tugging him close and cut of every doubt with a kiss. 

They were a couple of absolute idiots, dancing around their feelings for each other this whole time. Nyx kissed him and held him close and when they broke apart there was ta soft smile on Ignis's face, an expression he mirrored. Nyx, still rain soaked, was leaving wet patched all over Ignis's suit but he seemed not to notice. 

"People talk about me," Ignis said, the worry coming back into his voice because he could never let himself just be careless and do what he wanted, "you wouldn't be spared. They might try to undermine me through you. I couldn't- I don't want you to have to-"

Nyx kissed him again. "I don't care." 

"But-"

" _I don't care_." And it was true. They didn't have to be open about it, not if Ignis didn't want them to be for the sake of propriety but if he thought Nyx was going to be scared away he was wrong. "Just don't push me away because of it."

Ignis nodded once, sharp, determined, and Nyx kissed him and kissed him until he felt lightheaded and Ignis let his instincts show, chiding Nyx for dripping a puddle on the floor and telling him he was going to catch a cold. Nyx reluctantly pulled away, but when he crossed the room he gave Ignis a sidelong look, one full of affection, and when Ignis noticed him staring he asked what was the matter. 

"You and Gladio _really_ never fucked?"

Ignis followed him across the room just to smack him but he was laughing, and he was still laughing when Nyx pulled him into bed and they both shed their clothes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
>  
> 
> feel free to come hang out on tumblr @[notthelasttime](https://notthelasttime.tumblr.com/)


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